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Satisfying hook-ups are totally possible; they just take more than the right motivation and a sex-positive attitude, so read on to find out the things you need to keep in mind in order to have hook-ups you can feel great about.

The biggest key to ensuring a hook-up that will leave you feeling good is to self-assess.

But even though the odds might be stacked against women when it comes to happy hook-ups, that doesn’t mean we’re doomed.

Knowing and embracing why hook-ups can leave women feeling crappy is the first step to reversing the curse.

Speaking up for your pleasure has its place in hook-ups, not just long-term relationships. Ask for what feels good and speak up about what doesn’t—and don’t forget that you’re never too far into a hook-up to change your mind if you decide it’s not working for you.

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Second, talk to them for a bit and see what their values about gender roles are. Just pay attention to how he discusses other girls around you.That may sound boring – who wants to do homework before getting down and dirty?– but there are important factors that can make or break a hook-up before even, well, hooking up. Zhana Vrangalova, sex researcher and creator of The Casual Sex Project, knowing yourself is key.Unwanted feelings of attachment could lead to feeling rejected if a hook-up doesn’t lead to anything more, one reason why you might mistake your hook-up as a negative experience.Katie*, a senior at Vassar College who hooks up frequently, says that college girls should keep this biological reaction in mind and not let it color their perceptions.